English Monologue - A Bed Among The Lentils.

English Monologue.

Geoffrey.

 

Shows Geoffery, sat in his rust bucket of a car. Rubbing his leather gloved hands together, wrapped up in a large fleece coat. Breathing out large clouds of cold mist. It's winter. It's dark in his car, almost to stay hidden.

Susan's bad enough, sometimes I wish I was married to Jesus. Sometimes, even Susan wishes she wasn't married to me- I can tell this obviously, of course, because of the communion wine.

Now yesterday, I was due to begin to service in the parish. They were all waiting, Mrs Frobisher, Mrs Belcher and all other valued members of our beloved parish. Only- when something caught my eye.

 

(Speech turns angry)

 

The communion wine, was gone! One can only come up with so many scenarios before a conclusion is made. Susan. Yes, Susan, the susposed Vicar's wife. The illusions she has made to remain the ever faithful Vicar's wife. The loyal, faithful, innocent Christian, image Susan has upheld. My Susan's very good at this, yes. Very good at that illusion. When in reality , Susan is a patronising, cold woman. Determind not to have any relationship with Jesus, or myself for that matter.

 

"Have you seen it?" I had said, "What?" She said, acting oblivious.
"The wine, the communion wine. It's gone." I stressed, trying to extract the truth. If she knew anything about it, that was.
"That's no tragedy," Susan waved me off, chucklimg at me almost pitifully as if it was no big deal. She then offered to go and fetch some more. Then I knew, it was her.
"They're not open. Besides, what does it look like?" I spat.
"Well, it looks like we've run out of communiom wine." Susan insisted, rather like... she had something to do with it. Had she? I asked internally.
"We haven't run out. There was a full bottle here on Friday. Somebody has drunk it." Susan elected to ignore that subtle accusation. Although, something was on the tip of Susan's tongue, burning to comeback with something more than offensive. Probably taking the Lord's name in vain.

 

The service has finished and just before Evesong, I was mortified to find Susan missing. I mean, really! How humiliating! The vicar's wife should be present throughout all religious practices.

I followed her at a distance,in her car. For a long time I knew she owed money to the local off licsence. Wanting to know where my wife was going, I still followed. The journey was long. Ending up in Leeds, I pulled up near enough where Susan had parked the car. Discovering an Asian man opening the door for the innocent Vicar's wife as she stepped past him and over the threshold, looking behind her paranoid, obviously all lights in my car were switched off. It's getting late now anyway, Susan went in half an hour ago,one doesn't shop for a replacememt communion wine for half an hour. Doesn't take long to know what she's doing in there. I'm sure shop owners don't open the door for every customer.

Susan doesn't want to be married to me, or to Jesus. Susan has a little problem that shall be dealt with, adultry.