Short Story - Due Tuesday 21st.

'I Didn't Think It Would Happen To Me'


She hit me again last night. With each hit, whack, thump, kick and punch a shard of my self respect and dignity would fall and shatter on the floor.

I didn't think it would happen to me. Why should it happen to me, surely, I'm just like everyone else? If anything, it should be the other way around. I'm the man in the relationship, so why is my wife beating me?

She does it in front of our son, his impressionable mind soaking up each violent action inflicted upon me. I see him standing in the doorway of his bedroom, through my bleary eyes. Stood with the comforting warmth of the yellow artificial light radiating out to me, like a beacon of safety, tempting me in. Even my two year old son sees 'daddy' get beaten up by 'mummy'. He'll most probably think this is normal. He will, won't he? My face swollen, black eyes, broken bones, constant trips to the hospital and a pack of lies.

Lies. That was all I really said, nowadays. I would get asked "What happened?", I always come up with a lie, "I tripped.", "I walked into a door", "It was very icy outside this morning.". I made excuses constantly to my family, friends, colleagues and to my son. I also expected them to believe me. They usually would swallow the lies more than happy to accept that was the truth. They never suspected otherwise. Maybe some thought another man did it, it's unheard of a wife beats her husband. My broken ribs, bloodied nose, fractured cheek bones were evidence of this, but still it wasn't the truth. They were turning the other cheek. A woman beats me. Oh, if they were only to ask me, I would tell them everything . The only thing is, they never asked, so I never told. It was the dirty secret between the two of us. Anyone who would ever ask, she would stand beside me and put on her façade, her camouflage. How did she feel? I could never tell, but I do know I'm not a disappointment. I'm a terrible husband and an atrocious father. On a daily basis, I receive punishment for it.

I receive the punishment for it and can't help but forgive her afterwards she's hurled through her easily triggered anger spell, and realised what she's done. She would cry, make my shoulder damp with salty tears of regret and apologise profusely. It would be followed shorty with a trip to the hospital at two in the morning. A false, cheery conversation, albeit one sided, would take place, I tended to stare out the window, my eyes stinging with pain. The hospital made me breath a relaxed breath, someone could stop this only if they pressed me for answers. Though, they never did, it didn't stop me from hoping so.
Then she'd do it again, and again and again until one day, I would end up in the familiarity of the intensive care unit or worse, six foot under.

Style Model Analysis.

Charlie Brooker Analysis.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/sep/22/apple-software-updates-iPhones-watch-ios-8

Charlie Brooker uses a range of techniques throughout his article about the new software updates Apple has installed on the new Apple products.

Brooker uses features of graphology including a heading, sub heading, photo and well structured paragraphs. He also uses a range of sentence types including complex, compound and simple sentences. There are less simple sentences,this is because Charlie Brooker's mood of writing is often cynical. So he uses long sentences to complain about his chosen subject. An example of this is : "Then theylUnvhed the horrible looking Apple watch, which does everything an iPhone can do, but more expensively and pointlessly, and on a slightly different part of your body".

He uses various techniques like repetition, informality and hyperbole to make the tone of his text conversational and relatable for the reader. Repetition is used to almost make fun of the Apple products "unhealthy devoted Apple fanatic could bear to wear an Apple watch" , this is sarcasm and is used to make fun of anybody who would wear the products. Charlie Brooker uses words like "damn" to get his point across, it makes it more interesting for the reader to read and is informal. Brooker creates comedy in his article by using a hyperbole "is the size of the Isle of Man" she talking about the new iPhones.

I am taking ideas from this text for my course work because I like the idea of writing about something current and technological rebut exploring the way it can affect our generation. I'm also taking ideas from Charlie Brooker because I like the way he writes. He's very cynical about everything, but this adds humor and takes it from a not so funny article to an article with character and humor, it's effective and makes a boring subject readable.


Django Unchained Review.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/filmreviews/9805963/Django-Unchained-review.html

The author of the Django Unchained review includes a range of techniques throughout the review published on the Telegraph.

Firstly, the author uses subject specific lexis like "Golden Globe Winning, Oscar and BAFTA nominated" the author uses this because it is specific to the text, the audience know (if they're film fans - which they most probably are) what he's talking about and also it is appropriate to use in the text.

The author uses references to the audience by mentioning other film titles to address the audience this film is targeted at "The Great Silence (1968) and A Fistful of Dollars (1964)" , this backs up the style the author has written in. It's quite sophisticated and fits in with the film, audience and the Telegraph - who he's writing for. The type of audience is hinted at again when the author includes hints at historical references like "Ku Klux Klamsmen" and "Second World War" suggesting the readers would need knowledge of these to be able to watch the film and read the review.

I am getting ideas from this style model because I have an interest in film and  film reviews. I like the fact this one is written sophisticatedly and has other historical references.

English Monologue - A Bed Among The Lentils.

English Monologue.

Geoffrey.

 

Shows Geoffery, sat in his rust bucket of a car. Rubbing his leather gloved hands together, wrapped up in a large fleece coat. Breathing out large clouds of cold mist. It's winter. It's dark in his car, almost to stay hidden.

Susan's bad enough, sometimes I wish I was married to Jesus. Sometimes, even Susan wishes she wasn't married to me- I can tell this obviously, of course, because of the communion wine.

Now yesterday, I was due to begin to service in the parish. They were all waiting, Mrs Frobisher, Mrs Belcher and all other valued members of our beloved parish. Only- when something caught my eye.

 

(Speech turns angry)

 

The communion wine, was gone! One can only come up with so many scenarios before a conclusion is made. Susan. Yes, Susan, the susposed Vicar's wife. The illusions she has made to remain the ever faithful Vicar's wife. The loyal, faithful, innocent Christian, image Susan has upheld. My Susan's very good at this, yes. Very good at that illusion. When in reality , Susan is a patronising, cold woman. Determind not to have any relationship with Jesus, or myself for that matter.

 

"Have you seen it?" I had said, "What?" She said, acting oblivious.
"The wine, the communion wine. It's gone." I stressed, trying to extract the truth. If she knew anything about it, that was.
"That's no tragedy," Susan waved me off, chucklimg at me almost pitifully as if it was no big deal. She then offered to go and fetch some more. Then I knew, it was her.
"They're not open. Besides, what does it look like?" I spat.
"Well, it looks like we've run out of communiom wine." Susan insisted, rather like... she had something to do with it. Had she? I asked internally.
"We haven't run out. There was a full bottle here on Friday. Somebody has drunk it." Susan elected to ignore that subtle accusation. Although, something was on the tip of Susan's tongue, burning to comeback with something more than offensive. Probably taking the Lord's name in vain.

 

The service has finished and just before Evesong, I was mortified to find Susan missing. I mean, really! How humiliating! The vicar's wife should be present throughout all religious practices.

I followed her at a distance,in her car. For a long time I knew she owed money to the local off licsence. Wanting to know where my wife was going, I still followed. The journey was long. Ending up in Leeds, I pulled up near enough where Susan had parked the car. Discovering an Asian man opening the door for the innocent Vicar's wife as she stepped past him and over the threshold, looking behind her paranoid, obviously all lights in my car were switched off. It's getting late now anyway, Susan went in half an hour ago,one doesn't shop for a replacememt communion wine for half an hour. Doesn't take long to know what she's doing in there. I'm sure shop owners don't open the door for every customer.

Susan doesn't want to be married to me, or to Jesus. Susan has a little problem that shall be dealt with, adultry.

Travel Writing Homework.

A Day In Rome.

Some say when in Rome, do as the Romans'. Or at least take a photo with a Roman dressed as a gladiator, who then rips you off for the price of one photo.

Rome is a money hotspot, literally, the roads should have been paved with gold. Filled with Ferraris flashing soundlessly by on the cobbled streets, faultless scenic views in the distance and the monumental buildings covering the Vatican city. This is a playground for the rich.

Wherever you go in Rome, money is always the central theme. The numerous amount of homeless people sprawled across the pavements, with their hands cupped for money. They are more than insistent for a coin or two.
Strolling the small alleys and high-streets, often overlooked charming little walkways, you tend to cross the most extravagant shops you definitely don't find at home. These lavish multi story shops include the world famous designer Louis Vuitton and Ferrari shops. So, you truly have to be wealthy to enjoy the Roman lifestyle.

Another thing this city revolves around is religion. If anybody reading this has any sense of general knowledge then, you will know Rome is the Catholic capital of the world. Home to the Pope and the huge number of religion is famous for. If you are in Rome for a day or two, I most definitely recommend watching 'Angels and Demons' before you go, this is the film adaptation of Dan Brown's book, or if you have time, read the book. That way you'll learn a ton about the Eternal City prior to visiting.

Lets not forget to mention the food! Italian food may be world famous, and imitated all over the Globe, but there isn't anything as authentic as tasting proper Italian food in Rome. Italians' love their food, this is definitely obvious at any family owned restaurant. Who knew there is so many varieties of cheese?! I mean, the olives you are about to eat taste even better, when you're sure you can see the trees' they grew on in the distance.

Before you leave Rome, don't forget to seek out the mesmerising Trevi fountain and toss a coin into it's turquoise waters. I certainly did, it's a tradition for tourists. It's been said that if you do, you're sure to return to the Eternal City again some day.

Task 1 : Armstrong and Miller Sketch.

In the Armstrong and Miller sketch of 'Chalky's a Spy', the language used throughout the sketch is uncommon and is unlikely that it was used during this era.
It stands out because of this. The language used throughout is more commonly associated among teenagers, and teenage girls in particular.

The lexis and semantics used demonstrate this. The lexis used are slang words/ words associated with teenagers, like "or whatever", "and all this", "I swear down", "oh my days", "homeboy", the vocabulary here chosen by the writer of this sketch is unusual to use because of the time period this is set in - the early 1900's. Where lexis like this weren't used. Playing with the words like this made it more accessible for a younger generation, and adds humour. This is interesting to viewers because the setting is mismatched to the dialogue, which makes it unusual.

Comment clauses are commonly occurring phrases in speech. Phrases like "or whatever' is a commonly occurring phrase in the sketch. Using a phrase like 'or whatever' in this sketch makes it funny because it is mismatched with the time. The effect of this on the reader is comedic. What is interesting about this is, is that its repetitive. The writer plays on this to enhance the comedic effect, and keeps this phrase constant and sticks in the views minds for longer. Again, repetition is used further on in the sketch , "but the worst thing, the worst thing is...", this is a more constant flow of repetition, used for comedy. The writer plays on the words of what teenagers say which is unusual when applied to a man.

Style Model - Analysing Sin City 2

My chosen style model is the 'Sin City 2 : A Dame To Kill For' review. I will be analysing the grammar in the text, the type of sentences the writer uses and lexis/semantics the writer uses.

In the text, grammar is used in many varieties, but complex and compound sentences are used a lot in the review. For example a complex sentence : "Yet another good time girl, this one played by Juno Temple, comes from...", also compound sentences are used in the review: "It's neither high art nor noir, but it's what a Sin City film should be.". These are effective uses of sentence structure in the text used by the writer. The effects of these on the reader are that they create long, flowing pieces of description. The sentences are more detailed and more interesting for the reader to read. With the variation in sentence structure and length, it provides more intensity in the sentence (if the writer wishes to create this effect) and makes it more interesting  and enjoyable to read.

Also, lexis and semantics are used in the review, the words used in this review by the writer are film orientated e.g film noir, sequel, femme fatales, actors/actresses. These words are subject specific to the text. The effect of these are that the reader knows what the writer is talking about, these words are effective because they fit in and contributes to the factors that make professional appearing film review. Also the film review readers can enjoy the text a lot more because it is familiar with other reviews that's they've read before.

An Introduction To Me. - English Language Homework.

My introduction to me will be written as a pen pal letter. Due in Thursday 11th Sept.

Hello Pen Pal!

It's so nice to hear from you! Thank you for sending me your letter, I found it very interesting to read and discover all these new things about you! I was surprised to see so many of my interests matching yours - hence my writing back.

My name is Georgia and I am aged sixteen, from Bristol in the United Kingdom. Also, I live with my mum, older sister and two dogs in the semi-rural Warmley. Where I live sounds boringly ordinary in comparison to your ever sunny home in the United States. I'd love to visit one day!

Anyway, I've just finished my five year long education at my local secondary school, which I miss greatly already. And moving onwards, onto my first year at a new college. As you said, you've recently started a new school and I completely agree with you! It is both exciting and nerve wracking. But, I have to say, so far I am enjoying it. Its much more preferable compared to secondary school because of the free periods (obviously!) and a bit more freedom.

As for my life outside of school, it sounds pretty similar to yours. I like to socialise with friends, go to the cinema and out for meals at restaurants. I currently have a job at a shoe store, not far from where I live. It's very convenient. Despite this, I feel that working is both very tiring and a lot of hard work. I'm not quite used to it yet! The best thing about it is getting paid at the end of the month. Except from that, I do like talking to the customers.

Alike you, I've enjoyed going on holiday with my family in the past years, Discovering some of my most favourite cities, had been a lot of fun (like: Rome and Barcelona.) Many of the sights there were breath taking and very picture-esque. I wish I could have extended my stay. I recommend visiting these places if you ever have the opportunity.

I will await your reply eagerly. I hope you like my letter and learn a lot about me.

Speak soon,

Georgia.